10th April 2011, Sunday.
Just felt so unmotivated to wake up this morning because my bro knock the room door and said:"hey Titus, dad said you need to deal with the dog shit in the porch later because we are all going to school already...".
Anyway, I woke up one hour later and did my quiet time and lent meditation.
Remembering that I've gotto deliver a speech, no, its two speeches in the school later, I was very nervous because I haven't really memorized anything for the mandarin speech yet. As for the english speech, I was quite well prepared.
However, I've included God in my speech's script and I am still contemplating on whether or not to said it later.
Anyway, I prayed to Daddie.
I asked Him:"God, use my words and speak through me, even to a multitude of non-believers. I don't care how are they gonna look at me. I pray that your words will be place in my mouth as I deliver the speech later.".
I just quiet my self and continue to pray for it.
I reached school at around 1045.
The ceremony starts at 1110.
So I actually met up with some old friends.
Some were with me since primary school.
We catched up much with each other.
One of my friends, Ivan asked me if he could help me check through my script for grammar mistakes.
I said:"no problem..."
He looked through everything and after he was done he asked me:"Eh Yi Hen, why are you suddenly so God-ish?"
I told him:"Well, I finally wanna be serious about my faith (after nineteen years)..."
He commented:"You sounded extreme. Are all Christians extremists that wouldn't tolerate it if anyone slander their religion?"
I said:"No. We love them."
"Why?" He inquired.
"Because the Bible says love your enemies..." I replied.
Again, he questioned:"What if someone killed you love ones, say... your mum?".
I answered:"Then I gotto chose to forgive and love that person. It will not be easy. But we as Christians must forgive others because God has forgiven us. If we don't, we can't receive forgiveness from God. Christians say a prayer called the Lord's Prayer. There is this sentence that says:"Father, forgive us our trespasses as we have forgiven those who trespassed against us.". So that's why I have to chose to forgive."
He just shook his head and we switch topic.
Then comes the part where I have to deliver my speeches.
First in mandarin, then in english.
So, I kinda read through the mandarin script.
When I was done, the people started clapping.
I said:"Hey guys don't clap just yet, I've not finished my speech."
And there was a short-lived laughter in the square.
Then, I started my english speech.
I felt different.
Like:"hey, this is my language mann..."
To be truthful, I thought the mandarin speech was ok, but not very convincing because I was just reading the whole script.
Well, the english one was something different.
Although I memorized the whole script on this speech and I am having the script in my hands, I just said the words that came to my mind at that moment.
I only experienced this in Jeremiah School.
I was quite amazed.
I carried on without fear and fright until I came to the part where I suppose to say:
"ABOVE ALL, I SAID YES TO SPIRITUAL DEVOTION. I BELIEVE THAT I CAN PUT IN ALL MY EFFORTS INTO MY STUDIES, BUT THIS I KNOW, GOD HOLDS MY DESTINY, MY FUTURE IN HIS HANDS. WITHOUT HIM, I WOULDN'T HAVE PASSED STPM WITH FLYING COLOURS, I WOULD HAVE MISSED PERFECTION LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IN SPM."
You wouldn't believe it, but MY LEGS ARE BOTH SHAKING AS I STARTED SAYING:"ABOVE ALL..."
I KNEW IT IS NOW OR NEVER.
I DON'T CARE WHAT WILL THE RESPONSE BE,
I DON'T CARE IF I'M GONNA PEE OR WEE IN MY TROUSERS,
I AM USING THIS OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME
TO STAND BEFORE THESE PEOPLE AND
GLORIFY GOD!!!
I left them with this,
"Do your best, give your best
And leave the rest to God.
I wish you all the best in all your future undertakings."
"Thank you!!!"
There was a thundering round applause
And I knew then, that all glory is given to God.
As I sat down, my friends was like muted. I think they realized that I am really serious about my Faith in God.
Later in the afternoon, I recalled my prayer when I was still studying in upper six.
"God, help me glorify you with my studies."
He fulfilled His part of the promise and I am glad that I chosed to to glorify Him. It's my first time and it wouldn't be the last.
I might looked like a fool in the eyes of my friends,
but I know, God approves of my act of glory-giving to Him.
That's all I care about.
Fast forward to late evening. (cause I just did some job application and bought fresh milk with my mum in the afternoon and slept 3 hours away.)
I really thank God for the opportunity to be a vessel of encouragement and a listening ear to my brother and dear sister from Jeremiah School.
The other highlight for tonight is that my mum and I went to pizza hut to redeem some vouchers and I asked my mum on the way back home:"Mum, what are the changes you see in me after Jeremiah School?"
She answered:"Well, you are more joyous, talk more, more open, and you are more even-tempered already. I think God broke some bondages and lifted some burdens in your life."
I totally agreed.
I was very happy to hear that from my mum.
We used to argue a lot. But since Jeremiah School, God has been gradually changing me and her and it is good to know that people notice the changes in you.
It's very encouraging.
But trust me, it was not easy for me to change the way I relate to my mum.
I used to strike my points and try very hard to prove myself with words.
But now I realize that
IF WORDS WOULDN'T SPEAK,
LET YOUR ACTIONS SHOW.
WHEN WORDS ARE MANY,
SIN IS NOT ABSENT.
I really want to thank God for today.
For he has open my eyes to see that it doesn't matter how people look at me and how they think of me.
The only thing that truly matters is God's approval and favour.
And when you humble yourselves to be willing to change and give in, God will reward your effort.
So I pray that you will be able to glorify God in everything you do, laying down your crowns at his feet, knowing that He gave you all these and if not for Him, you wouldn't be what you are now.
HALLELUJAH!!! ALL GLORY AND HONOUR BE TO YOU, DADDIE!!!
